When someone close to us dies, everything changes. It can be difficult to find our way through the tasks that follow a death, whilst also thinking about how we want to say goodbye.
I will work alongside and for you, to help create a moving and meaningful ceremony; something that can stay with you in the years ahead. A good funeral does three things: the ceremony recognises the life that has been lived, in its fullness, with joy and with tears; it is an opportunity to mourn the death and to say goodbye; and it should direct us to our next steps without them, gently and with hope.
We shall meet for as long as is needed for you to tell me about your loved one-their life and their essence and what they mean to others. You might like to share photos, and letters and emails that have been sent to you since their death.
You might have a very clear idea about how you would like the ceremony to be and the music and readings you want to include, or you may feel uncertain-both positions are fine. I can support you to find words and music that seem to fit. After meeting, I will send you a first draft of the ceremony for your comment. I will then send you a second draft, and another if it is needed.
On the day, I will conduct the ceremony and my words will link the parts of the ceremony together. It might be that you or other family members and friends want to speak or sing, that is wonderful and I encourage people to do that. I can be on hand to support if this feels overwhelming on the day.
A couple of days after the ceremony, I will contact you to see how you are and to ask how the funeral felt. I will send you a copy of the ceremony as a keepsake.